Event Recap: Love, what’s monogamy got to do with it?
There once was an old man of Lyme
Who married three wives at a time,
When asked, "Why a third?"
He replied, "One's absurd!
And bigamy, sir, is a crime.
William Cosmo Monkhouse
I had such a great time interviewing people for my post about Love & Monogamy that I wanted the opportunity to dive deeper into the subject face to face.
Last friday April 5th, I was joined by a group of curious minds who participated in an intimate round table discussion on love, monogamy, jealousy, and much more.
One of the perks of these events is getting to have these talks while getting to know new places in the city, like Típic i català, a vinoteca only 2 minutes from the famed Sagrada Familia. All their products are exclusively by small Catalan producers, ensuring the economical support of local businesses. The guests enjoyed a tasting menu which included a delicious selection of cheese and charcuterie, vegetarian croquettes, and marinated salmon. And of course, a delightful wine from Terra Alta, Somdinou – red and white.
As per usual, after our introduction by the kind sommelier, we started the dinner with my ‘Fun Fact’ section in which every guest reads a different fun fact regarding the topic at hand. Did you know that the white wedding is a Victorian invention? or that the term ‘polyamory’ was coined in the 1990’s but only popped up in the English dictionary in 2006? It’s a great ice breaker and a fun way to dive into the conversation.
It’s always such an amazing experience getting to hear from so many different perspectives – and this time was no exception; from people who had never attempted non monogamy, to individuals who had first hand experience with it. Of course that also means having different approaches to communication and love, which developed into a very interesting debate about whether we are truly meant to be monogamous or not. Though, research and data can help us understand monogamy and non monogamy, ultimately everyone has a different take on what kind of romantic partnership they need. Regardless of how many partners we have, being able to communicate our boundaries is key to a healthy relationship.
Of course, no dinner party is complete without dessert, and we were fortunate enough to indulge in a savory vegan carrot and apple cake thanks to L’Orwell, a Catalan Tapas Bar in the emblematic Gothic Quarter.
THANK YOU!
I would like to thank every single participant who was gracious enough to share their personal experiences, perspectives and thoughts with Gabs Away. You truly make every event unique!
Thank you to Típic i català for hosting us, introducing us to your beautiful business and of course ensuring that our glasses were always full!
Thank you to L’Orwell for letting us taste your homemade decadent and vegan cake, can’t wait to try more!
And lastly, thank you to Jesus Rodriguez for the stunning pictures, you can also follow his work here!
I’d love to hear from you, what are your thoughts on monogamy?
Let me know in the comments below!
RESOURCES
As promised, I have included a short list of some of my favorite resources used for research. I encourage you all to check them out and engage in conversations of your own!
The Ethical Slut - A practical guide to Polyamory, open relationships, and other freedoms in sex and love.
Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage
Monogamy Explained, a Vox series.
Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships
A strong libido and bored by monogamy: the truth about women and sex
So monogamy works for some animals. Doesn't mean it's 'natural' for us
Sleeping with other people: how gay men are making open relationships work
Thirteen things I wish I’d learned before choosing non-monogamy
How TV Teaches Us Toxic Monogamy
Slutever series - Poly Love
